I recently prayed with someone I consider a spiritual mentor. She prayed for the lonely areas of my heart. This mentor is so wise and has such a great relationship with God. When she prayed for the “lonely” areas of my heart, it felt like a lightbulb moment. I was missing connection.
Anxiety Lessons
Lately, I’ve been in a learning season. For years, prayers for my own life have been pretty general: Thank you. Help me. Guide me. Most of my prayer time has been spent interceding for others, but God has revealed that, while I’ve been so focused on pouring into others, I have been neglecting my personal connection with Him.
One of the tipping points in my life that led me to Christ was my overwhelming anxiety. My anxieties stemmed from an impulse to control everything and the negative events that would infect my life no matter what I did or how “good” of a person I was. I was not connected to the One who is really in control and living apart from Him meant trying to carry the heaviness of life with no backup or relief. Nowadays, I’ve learned to recognize these creeping anxieties as a sign that I have been distant from God.
What’s Missing?
Earlier, I mentioned how a friend had prayed for the lonely areas of my heart. I hadn’t really been asking for prayer because most of my “problems” I considered unimportant or trivial and I felt like my loved ones have enough legitimate troubles of their own. If I did share, I couldn’t confidently articulate what I needed, which resulted in anxious chatter and feeling selfish. Because I felt so insecure about sharing my needs, and people can’t read my mind, areas of my heart began to feel very lonely. My mentor’s prayer for me was a reminder to seek God first with my needs. I had been looking to my loved ones for the things I should be looking to God for.
Listen, the truth is, we should be able to look to our loved ones for encouragement, comfort, validation, and affection, but what I’m learning is we can’t expect it. Expectations set us up for disappointment, not because others are incapable, but because their timing or delivery might be off.
Connection Takes Work
A relationship with God takes just as much, if not more, effort than one with a spouse, parent, or friend. In any relationship, if you’re not talking or listening to each other, what’s really going on? Nothing.
Like a spouse, God likes to hear that you love and appreciate Him, and He wants you to listen to Him in return. Like a parent, God wants to protect and discipline you so you can grow to be strong and brave. He wants you to tell Him about your dreams and desires so He can encourage you, and give you the tools you need to live your best life. Like a friend, God wants to be a part of your celebrations and comfort you when you’re sad. Likewise, He wants you to ask Him what He needs from you.
Because God’s love is true, this means we have a choice to have a relationship with Him or not. It’s a two-way street. The work doesn’t stop when we say, “I accept Jesus as my Savior” just like the work in your marriage doesn’t stop after you say, “I do.” My relationship with God had taken a backseat to my relationship with others. I was focused on serving them instead of Him and I was expecting others to give me what only He can. He has more than enough to give me what I need, plus, the wisdom not to give me what I don’t need. <– Important.
Do you ever feel anxious or alone? Do you feel areas of your relationships are not living up to your expectations? When was the last time you prayed or listened to God? I’d love to hear from you. Comment below or send me an email.
References:
Isaiah 9:6
Matthew 11:28-30
Proverbs 8:17
Jeremiah 29:11
1 John 4:8
Philippians 4:6-7
Ephesians 5:25
Hebrews 11:6
Psalm 105:4
Psalm 37:4
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