Lately, I’ve been thinking on things I need to let go of. In the story of Moses, God calls him to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and into the promise land. Once they’re on their way, many grow resentful of the risk they’ve taken and wonder if it was worth it to leave bondage to wander in discomfort. Like the Israelites, we easily become slaves to the familiar, even if it isn’t what’s best for us.
These are all things we hold on to because it seems easier than dealing with the discomfort or uncertainty of letting go.
Do you live with credit card debt because it’s the only way you can [currently] afford the lifestyle you desire? Have you been given an unsavory report from your doctor, but you opt for pills instead of changing your diet? Maybe you allow your partner to mistreat you because you’re afraid of begin alone?
It’s been a long time since my last panic attack. Between the ages of 18 and 22, I was a very different person. I compromised my own values for approval. I was wildly naive, made irrational decisions, and wasted a ton of valuable time. This lifestyle of crap, followed by crappier crap eventually caused me to become bitter, angry and paranoid – the building blocks for an unbreakable emotional wall. The dominos of drama got me thinking, my life is going to wind-up being void of any fulfillment if I don’t make a change.
I said this prayer: “God, if you’re real, I give up. My life is out of control and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. You take over because I can’t do this.” Nothing crazy happened in that moment, but I felt convicted to let go of every person, place, habit or object that caused me to feel anything but peace. Doing this meant being alone and saying no, a lot. Saying ‘no’ to myself meant saying ‘yes’ to God. Saying ‘no’ is what won over my husband. Letting go of my hometown meant opportunities in new places. Letting go of fears meant embracing possibilities.
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